Kiki Script-1
"Mystery"
[Scene opens, you see a building labled "Employment Angency". Under those
words are the words "If you need a job, we will try our best to find you one, unless we don't want to". You then see Kiki
sitting in a chair, in a room, talking to a man with glasses. He is holding a piece of paper reading off a list of jobs.]
Agent: Car washer?
Kiki: No.
Agent: Window washer?
Kiki: (frustrated) No.
Agent: Trash person?
Kiki: No! What kind of person do you think I am? I want a meaningful job,
a
career. Not a job that requires
gloves. Those jobs are for a pathetic
person like a...a...single
man.
Agent: (monotoned, but clearly angered) I'm a single man.
Kiki: Oh, uh, I didn't (nervous laughter)...I didn't mean you. You're different.
You have...um...you have...hair...sort
of.
Agent: Why don't you try again tomorrow.
Kiki: But, I...
Agent: No, I want to be alone now.
[The agent sighs, then jumps out of the window. Kiki rushes to the window
where you can see he jumped out of the first floor window. The agent, unharmed, lays for a moment, gets up, sighs with his
head down, then walks away]
***NEXT SCENE***
[Kiki starts to walk home. Ramone is sitting under a nearby tree. Kiki goes
to him and greets him. Ramone seems to be writing a letter of some sort.]
Kiki: Hello, Ramone. What are you writting?
Ramone: (slightly distracted) A letter.
Kiki: A letter to whom?
Ramone: A letter to Bertha Lou. She's mad at me because I tried to push her
down
the stairs.
Kiki: Ramone that's awful!
Ramone: Don't worry. I'm okay. Any who, she locked me out and I want to
give this letter of apology to her.
Kiki: But, Ramone, if's she won't see you, then how will she get the letter?
Ramone: I'll put it in her mailbox.
Kiki: She doesn't have a mailbox.
[Ramone stares at Kiki for a second with an angered look on his face.]
Ramone: What is this REALLY about, Kiki?
Kiki: (sighing and rolling her eyes) Why don't you come with me to my house?
Ramone: I'm already at your house.
Kiki: No you're not! You're sitting under that tree!
Ramone: (angered) You just can't help yourself, can you?
***NEXT SCENE***
[Kiki and Ramone arrive at Kiki's house. Kiki unlocks her front door. They
go in and Kiki screams in shock.]
Kiki: I've been robbed!
[The house appeared to have been torn apart. Everything is tatters.]
Ramone: I don't believe it! Who would want your junk?
Kiki: Ramone, this is serious! They probably stole all of my valuables.
Ramone: Oh, that's a shame. Now you're poor.
Kiki: (she gives Ramone a dirty look, then continues) Who could have done
this? The world is so corrupt!
Ramone: (cofidently) I blame society!
[While they looked to see what had been taken, Bertha Lou burst through the
door]
Bertha Lou: Kiki, someone is ramsacking your house! I've called the
police!
Kiki: I think they're gone, Bertha.
Bertha Lou: (she pauses for a while) Me and my delayed reactions!
Ramone: (arbitrarily) When the police get here, I'm going to tell them
about
my
stubbern rash.
Kiki: Ramone, I don't think they'll be able to help yo...
Ramone: I've made up my mind!
***NEXT SCENE***
[The police arrive and are looking things over.]
Kiki: Well, what have you been concluded?
Police officer#1: It seems someone torn apart your house.
Kiki: (frustrated) And?
Police officer#1: And nothing appears to be stolen. Maybe someone...
[You can hear Ramone explaining to a police officer#2 about his rash]
Kiki: Ramone, leave him alone!
Police officer#2: Um, that's nice, sir. I need to go now.
Ramone: But I've only started in on the burning sensation, there's still the
odor
left
to be discused.
Police officer#2: Umm, look over there!
[The officer points to nothing and Ramone looks to see what he was talking
about. The officers say good-by to Kiki then dart out of the door to their car]
Kiki: Thanks anyways! (she shouts from her front doorway. Then to her self
she says) Ya' good for nothings.
Bertha Lou: (she springs from what seems as nowhere and shouts) I've been
ignored!
[Kiki jumps and jerks the glass of water she was holding]
Kiki: Bertha, don't do that! My nerves are already a mess because of this
ordeal.
Bertha Lou: Not to mention the venom I put in the water you were drinking.
Kiki: What?
Bertha Lou: Nothing!
***NEXT SCENE***
[Kiki, Ramone, and Bertha are all around the kitchen table chatting and drinking
hot chocolate. The doorbell rings. Kiki answers. Walter is there.]
Kiki: Oh, hello Walter.
Walter: Why so glum?
Kiki: My house was torn apart by burglars, but nothing was taken.
Walter: (coming in through the door to the front room.) Oh, yeah. Sorry I
made such
a mess.
Kiki: What? You did this? Why?
Walter: I was looking for my sock.
Kiki: You tore up my house to find your sock? That ridiculous! Why would
your sock be here anyways?
Walter: Well, it wasn't at my house, so...
Kiki: What? The only way it would be here is if it sprouted legs and walked.
Walter: Actually, it may have. I haven't washed it in a while.
Kiki: Don't be silly. I guess I can't be too mad at you. You ARE an idiot.
I'm
going to call the police station
to tell them it was all a mistake. Everyone's
in the kitchen if you want to say
hi.
[Walter walks into the next room which is the kitchen and you can hear Ramone
shouting.]
Ramone: Aw, man! It's Walter.
The End
